Second Impressions

It's been almost three weeks now and I'm settling into something of a routine. Mostly this routine consists of working and looking for shoe stores and (still) tripping over boxes. My younger, more anal self would have bitch-slapped me for not having it all done yet. Whatever. At least my dogs are settling into a potty schedule and I'm only cleaning up after myself.

Here are my latest observations about my new home:

1. Still finding unexpected pockets of gorgeous homes and neighborhoods. I never know what to expect so every little trip is an adventure.
2. People like to talk on their cell phones while driving. Guess that law hasn't passed here yet.
3. Apparently yellow is the same color as green.
4. I have white guilt. Didn't have it in Southern California so it must be something about knowing that slaves actually lived here. My overcompensation is bound to embarrass me.
5. These people love their Greek. As in sororities and fraternities. You can buy all kinds of sorority-logo shit here.
6. They also like their monograms. There are initials on many doors and framed initials in a bunch of stores. Meta was invented here.
7. It's okay in an office setting to let people know that you dislike same-sex marriage. In other words, you can be a total asshole at work.
8. Fortunately, open (and pretty flamboyant) homosexuality is accepted at Cracker Barrel.
9. I may be destined to never eat at Chick-Fil-A and I'm okay with that.
10. Aside from the discrimination, my job rocks. My co-workers are awesome, I got a recommendation for a shoe store on my way down the elevator, free lunch three days this week, omelettes, Cracker Jacks, and chocolate whenever I need it. Also, there is now an egg of Silly Putty at my desk.

First Week First Impressions

I have now been in Nashville for a week and finished my first week of work. It still feels temporary and I have only just been reunited with my bed and my shoes today but it sinks in a little bit more every day.

So, what is Nashville like? Here are my first impressions:

1. It's very green. So green. And hilly. And all of the hills are covered with trees. So many trees.
2. The houses all have storm doors. So weird and I don't know why. Not screens, just glass storm doors.
3. If something is two miles away, it will take 10 minutes to get there. If it's 5.6 miles away and on the freeway at rush hour, you don't go there.
4. I love fireflies as much now as I did when I was a kid.
5. The humidity is bearable unless you're moving boxes and furniture into the house. Then the movers drip sweat on your boxes and floor.
6. Driving 80 mph on the freeway is fun.
7. People talk about going to church a lot. Like everyone. And the churches are huge. Also, Koreans are Baptists.
8. Neighbors are actually neighborly.
9. Every parking lot is Costco-sized, but there are gorgeous hidden neighborhoods that feel miles from town even though they're a minute from Target.
10. They have different bugs here. And different spiders.
11. For a place called Music City, there aren't many good radio stations. At all.
12. People open doors but drive like shit. Unless they are old and expect you to hold a door open for them and then don't say thank you.
13. It's not all southern accents here. And it's really weird to hear an Asian girl with a thick drawl.
14. Not all sweet tea is created equal. (Equally?)
15. There is a Gus's fried chicken that I must go to. I wonder if Gus worked there before he got blown up.

Okay, on to week two and unpacking all of my shit. That there is no room for. Fml.

Saying Goodbye

It's been a long, long time coming but it's finally here. My last night in Bend.

I've been here 22 years. While I've spent the majority of that time wishing to be somewhere else, this has been my home. For better or worse. Twenty two years is a lifetime. I got married, had a baby, got divorced, I've had other important relationships, friendships. I've had jobs, said a temporary goodbye to some and permanent goodbyes to others. I moved here the day after I graduated from college so, basically, I've grown up here. Ups, downs. Happiness, heartbreak. It's hard to quantify that many experiences.

Since making final plans to leave three weeks ago, it's been the proverbial roller coaster of emotions. In one day I literally jumped up and down for joy and then broke down in tears approximately 7.8 minutes later. Last week I had the what-the-fuck-am-I-doing meltdown. As in, this is a mistake and I should stay Here because This is what I know. But what we know isn't necessarily good for us and by the time I walked into work the next morning I knew I was doing the Right Thing.

Tonight I spent time with the two people that I think I was meant to spend the Last Night with. They reminded me of the best parts about being here. The best parts are the friendships I've made. The friends that were there when I needed them. The ones who made me laugh through the tears. The ones who commiserated over The Job and kids and the deaths of relationships. The ones who made living here bearable, if not possibly worth it.

What this chapter of my life amounted to is these friendships and the lessons they've taught me. I can do the things I want to do. I have choices. I know gratitude. There is real love in my life. It didn't come in the form of Prince Charming. It arrived in these beautiful, strong, smart, funny, dependable, witty women. The friendships I least expected turned out to be the best and the most meaningful.

So, while I'm saying goodbye, I feel it's not a real goodbye. These are the relationships that will last. We'll sit outside on a summer evening once again discussing our troubles, our joys, reminiscing over the moments that brought us together. We'll profess our love over cocktails, passing down these small rites to our daughters.

People say that Bend has a lot to offer. And it does. It's spectacularly beautiful in the summer. It's a skier's paradise in the winter. You love beer? Well, this is the place. Me? I'm going to take these offerings of friendship with me. The lessons of gratitude. The moments of laughter and the acceptance of my tears.

Ladies, thank you. Because of you I have the courage to make this giant leap into the next adventure. I will carry your hearts. I will carry them in my heart. Always and forever, with gratitude and love.

Thank you. I love you.