Why Dogs Don't Make Good Valentines

1. Chocolate is toxic to them.
2. They’re sloppy kissers (with dog breath to boot).
3. They can’t snuggle without leaving a blanket of their hair on you.
4. They can’t handle their champagne (or beer, depending on which college party you’re attending).
5. They’re not allowed in restaurants, bars or movie theaters.
6. Constant farting. Bad manners in general.
7. They lack opposable thumbs with which to cook you dinner. Or the ability to read a recipe. Or the height needed to reach the stove.
8. They would rather eat flowers than give them to you.
9. Instead of whispering sweet nothings in your ear, they blast your eardrums with obnoxious barking.
10. When you tell them it’s time for night-night pee-pees, they refuse to go outside and then promptly pee on your bed. And then lay on your pillow.


Why dogs are good Valentines –

1. They love you unconditionally.
2. They would never make a list of your faults.