Bitter, Party of One

Conversation today with a co-worker friend. For real. I make nothing up.

E: well how about this for some suck -- i went out to get in my jeep this morning
and somebody had opened one of those starkist bags of tuna and scattered it all around the inside


Me: bag of tuna?


E: a pouch of tuna, instead of the kind in a can


Me: was the pouch open? like mushy tuna was in your car?


E: yes! the pouch was empty on the floorboard and tuna was splattered everywhere inside my jeep


Me: how did that happen?


E: no idea. some shithead teens in my neighborhood, i guess


Me: yeah, that sucks.
but you're getting married.
so my bad date trumps your tuna car.