Why My Kid Is No Longer Officially Enrolled in an Oregon School

A few weeks ago D was complaining that she didn't feel well. She was tired. Nauseous. I chalked it up to extra dance lessons and bad diet. She, in her ultimate teen wisdom, Web MD'd her symptoms and concluded that she had mono. I laughed at her and told her she didn't have mono, she just needed to sleep more and eat better. Her father (who is often a hypochondriac) took her to the doctor. The results? The darn kid had mono. There goes my credibility. Except you know what the treatment for mono is? Rest and a better diet. So there. I was still right.

Since she's been so drained of energy and always feeling like she's about to puke, she's been home from school for the last three weeks. After missing intermittent days before and after her diagnosis. I actually had to start homeschooling her. What a joyous day that was. I still hate math and I'm still not any better at it than I was 25 years ago. But I am excellent at writing position papers.

Last week I got a call from the attendance office at the school. They were kind enough to let me know that my child has been unenrolled in the school. Something about how she's been absent for more than ten consecutive days and the school district doesn't want to pay for her so it's just a technicality and she needs to stop in the office and say hi when she returns to get reenrolled.

When looking up mono, we found out that once you have it, you have it forever and you just become a carrier of it but you don't have symptoms again. So let this be a warning to any gross boys out there who think they want to kiss my kid.

Also? She can never use my chapstick or lip gloss again. Ha ha.