The Lesson About the Dog and the Lube

Last December I decided to become a Pure Romance consultant. I may have mentioned this. I may have asked all of my friends to hostess a party for me. What I haven't said is how much fun I'm having with it, how supportive everyone is, and how much I already love it. But this post isn't about that. It's much more disturbing than that.

Ruby Tuesday has always had a fascination with candy and lip gloss. She's such a girl. Even for a Boston Terrier. D can tell you how many countless times she's found a ruined, chewed-up tube of chapstick or lip gloss, guilty dog still smacking her lips in the near vicinity. My response is always "Don't leave your crap lying around where she can reach it." Because, clearly, it is never the dog's fault. 

I had a party over the weekend, with another one planned this week. So I didn't put my demo products away knowing I would be using them so soon. I went to Zumba and thought I'd leave the dogs out of their crates since I'd only be gone a couple of hours. 

Do you see what disastrous conclusion is just ahead?

Yes. Ruby Tuesday got into my demo products because they were just sitting in a bag on the floor well within the reach of her tongue.

I'm not sure what she started with. The cap of massage oil had been chewed off and dumped into the carpet. I think the mango scent was more delicious than the taste. For future product sales reference, it cleaned up nicely with no oily stain. 

She tore quite a bit into the Whipped lubricant. It's vanilla cupcake flavor, I really can't blame her.  I don't know if she had just gotten into it or got bored since it's mostly intact except for the hole near the cap and the teeth marks. I can save it for personal moisturizer use at least. 

Great Head appeared to be the favorite. She managed to chew a whole through the side of the tube and lick about two-thirds of it out. Strawberry must be her favorite. What really worried me about that one is the muscle-relaxing effect it has. I didn't even want to know what part of her might have been relaxed. Sleeping with her felt like it might be more of an adventure than I was looking for, but I was afraid to let her sleep alone in case she had any kind of toxic reaction. Which would have served her right, but still. 

Pure Romance products are not tested on animals. My dog tested them on herself without any negative side effects (other than the horrible shame treatment I gave her). However, I recommend not leaving your crap lying around where your dog can get to it. 

If you do, just do what I did. Pour yourself a glass of wine and get into a nice hot bath. With a few spritzes of Body Dew, of course.