Gay People Owe Us

The Wife and I are used to people thinking that we are an actual couple. At first we were like, “Us? No! No, we’re not together. Not like that. Ha ha ha. No…….” And now it happens so often we just shrug it off. There are far worse things that could happen than being mistaken for being gay.

This past weekend was the perfect example of how often this happens. We went to look at some open houses in ritzy neighborhoods. Because they were all in the million-dollar price range and there is no way we could actually fake it with a realtor long enough to be shown these homes otherwise. It was also a spontaneous thing that happened on the way to Trader Joe’s. That is how our weekends usually go because we’re both like, “Squirrel!! Squirrel in a mansion!!” But, anyway……

We went to three houses and all three realtors at all three houses asked if we were buying together. They were all dudes so maybe they were just being hopeful, but it was a little odd to have a 100% rate of people thinking we’re lesbians. And, what? Friends can’t look at houses together? Sisters don’t look at houses together? If you are spending a Sunday afternoon looking at houses that are outrageously out of your price range with a member of the same sex that automatically makes you a “couple?” Whatevs.

Afterward though, when we were talking about how people like to put us in this box, we did appreciate the fact that they all seemed very accepting of us. Even the old guy didn't bat an eye when asking if we were together. Way to be progressive, Nashville! But then we (because one of us is a Leo) decided that it's us that makes people so comfortable with the idea. People who seem like they would normally be turned off by anyone doing anything differently than they do. We’re nice. We’re approachable. We’re a good representation of the gay community. Only we’re not. Gay, I mean. Still, people think we are so we’re inadvertently doing our part to advance awareness and acceptance. For that, for taking one for the team we don’t play for, the gay community owes us.

How can you pay us back, you ask? Wifey wants someone to take her shopping for clothes. It sounds easier than it is. I just want to be invited to cool parties.  I’ll bring the Wife.