It is the best of times, it is the worst of times...

These are odd times right now. In some ways, they are the very best and it's hard to explain that to anyone. There seems to be this expectation from people that L and I are at each other's throats and miserable every minute. That isn't the case for the majority of the time. I definitely have my meltdown moments and those are hard to get through. Sunday was one of those days. Packing and separating our belongings seemed to suddenly make it all too real and final and by the end of the day I just lost it. I cried until I couldn't breathe anymore. I cried until I threw up. Until my eyes were virtually swollen shut. I looked pretty the next day, let me tell you.

But then there are the lazy float days and the evenings by the fire and my birthday and I'm surprised to find that we somehow feel closer than before. It's as if I'm falling in love with him for real for the first time, rediscovering who he is. This seems cruelly unfair, given the circumstances, but at the same time I am so grateful to have this experience.

I know there are more crying days ahead. Seeing the house finally empty and those first nights alone are the ones that I dread the most. Somehow, though, these latest special moments help reaffirm that this is what is best for us. That we are on the right path. Wherever it may lead us.