Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Boring Unicorns

D got her wisdom teeth out today. I was really, really hoping that I would get one of those funny "after" videos that are plastered all over You Tube. I mean, for $750 it's the least I could ask for.

Not so much.

When I went back, she was under a giant blanket in a wheelchair, simply looking drowsy. Sure, she was puffy and had tampon-like strings hanging out of her mouth, but she was coherent. She answered questions logically. So much for the entertainment. "I thought you were going to talk about unicorns and stuff."

We went to get a shake. While we sat in the car she said, "Did you want me to talk about unicorns?" Um, yeah. Something fun. "I can do that. Unicorns are cute. They can fly, so you can save on gas. You can paint them. And then you can stab someone when you don't like them."

Well, I guess that's worth about a buck fifty.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Like a Hooker

I did a Pure Romance party for some friends yesterday and then the wife and I went shopping. This is pretty much a typical conversation for us.

Me: I have a lot of smelly stuff on me.
W: You're like a hooker.
Me: Did you just call me a hooker?
W: Yeah, because you smell. Only nice. Not like a nasty hooker.
Me: Oh, right. I'm a classy hooker. I think that's called an escort.
W: You're like the hooker that's really expensive but then you don't put out.
Me: Exactly.

Thursday, March 06, 2014

What I'm Grateful For

I've said previously that the wife and I started keeping gratitude journals, the only rule being we couldn't duplicate what we were grateful for. Some days, the not-so-great days, it's a little bit of a stretch. Like my socks are soft or I went a day without tripping over anything.

But some days, like today, these things just fall out of the sky and land in my lap! I'm going to share my items of gratitude with you today so you can get a little Joy in your world also. These are really, really good so get ready!!

1. I love the internets. The internets are full of magical wonders that you never even could imagine. Would you have ever thought of this? It's a snail in a sweater. A snail. In a sweater, people. That's all there is to say about that. You're welcome.

If you are lucky enough to actually know a snail in your life, you can buy him/her a sweater like this one here.

2. Next are these pink boots. They're pink. They're waterproof. They just might be the boots I need for Ireland. How can I not be happy wearing these? (I'm providing the link but don't order any for yourself in size 7 until I get mine!

3. We are grateful for three things daily. This one isn't even a stretch. It's like not even having to lift a pinky because it is that awesome and wonderful. Glamping in Ireland. Glamping in a freaking treehouse. I so, so, so want to do this!!

Stay in a treehouse? Yes please. A treehouse in Ireland? DUH!! Plus the campground is called Teapot Lane. It doesn't get cuter than that. Unless I'm sitting in the treehouse and a snail wearing a tiny sweater slimes its way across my pink boots. I might pee buckets of happiness in a moment like that. That is pretty much the trifecta of happy.

See? You don't always have to be grateful for your health or your kids or the fact that you had coffee in your house or office. These are all perfectly good things to be grateful for and you should be grateful for them, I'm just saying think outside the proverbial box. Appreciate more of the things in the world around you. Create some of them and spread that happiness all over the place!!
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