Thursday, September 06, 2012

Out of Context

These are random things I said today, which taken out of context are either retarded or criminally insane or both.

"It's the only food that can taste you back."

"Isn't that who she was yelling at yesterday?"

"It isn't 'my job' to listen to someone fighting and it isn't 'my career path' to sit here tense all day."

"I'm going to go get the tongue out of the refrigerator."

"Tongue tacos or tongue stew?"

"We could dress them in matching sweaters."

"Go home and take it out on the fam."

"I absorb protein better when it's in chocolate."

"Who really cares about a hernia?"


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