Thursday, December 20, 2012

Pigs In Blankets

I have a king-sized bed. I also have two Boston Terriers. Because they are small dogs, one would think that a king-sized bed would easily accommodate the three of us. This would be an incorrect assumption.

Even if it's only me, I sleep on one side of the bed. Reaching over to the nightstand to turn off the light, put my book down, set the alarm, or get a sip of water is just too much exercise to be done in a bed. This habit of mine leaves plenty of room for the dogs. They can stretch out. They can each have their own, separate spaces on the bed.

This doesn't happen.

My Puppy Loves like to sleep right next to me. As in right up against me. Which is kind of nice when I'm really cold, but not so great when I wake up and find myself on the very edge of the bed. With one dog at my torso and one at my legs.

My favorite thing is when they manage to pull the covers over to themselves while laying on top of them so that I'm left with only half covers and I'm cold and can't get their enormous weight to budge.

They also like to sleep under the covers. Especially Remy. If he's not under some type of cover he thinks the world is coming to an end. So several nights a week I am woken by a paw tapping my shoulder, waiting for me to lift the covers so he can find his favorite spot down by my feet.

Oh, wait. My very favorite thing is when Ruby is all snuggled up and I turn over to cuddle with her only to find that it's her butt in my face, not her face. And then she farts.

My sheets are not pretty. They are covered in hair and I know there have been dog butts on my pillows plenty of times. I find eye boogers and other, less-pleasing evidence of dogs if I dare to look closely enough.

You would think that it's time to kick them out. That I would sleep better with them in their own beds. That I would prefer clean sheets to hair and snoring and snorting and farting. You would be wrong, my friend.

Somehow it feels selfish to banish them to crates when I have such a large bed. It's also lonely without them. It's reassuring waking up to their warm bodies, knowing they find as much comfort from my half-covered, frozen, frustrated body. I love their smells and their sighs and their little frito feet. I love opening my eyes to find Ruby's little face next to mine, her look of pure contentment and trust.

Yeah, I pretty much sleep in a giant dog bed.
I wonder if I could teach them how to do laundry.....


Serial Monogamist said...

Frito feet! That's my favorite part of this post. Other than the dogs.

I'm one of those meanies who does not let my dogs sleep in the bed with me. But my dogs are extra dirty and smelly, and between the two of them that would be an extra hundred pounds of dog. I'm not giving up that kind of space.

The one exception is when I was driving cross-country, just me and my girls, and staying in hotels. Not my bed, not my sheets.

Kat said...

Frito feet are the best! They seem to be more typical of Bostons than other dogs. My friend has a Boston whose whole body smells like tacos. I love it!!

If you ever have small dogs, you will have to try co-sleeping. It's pretty great.

Anonymous said...

How fab (and true)!

Jan Nieman said...

Oh my! Felt like I was reading about my own sleeping misadventures. Only difference is a single Boston and a twin bed. I tend to sleep a lot on my side while fanning the air around me.

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