Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Death of Dating

Last night I had drinks with someone I met online. At first I appreciated that he wanted to skip the formalities and small talk and meet right away. He seemed to have a sense of humor. I think the road to hell should now be paved with seems.

To start, he was 20 minutes late. But, Nashville traffic being what it is, I went with it. He sent an odd message about panhandlers, thinking he was making a joke. It was off-putting but I hoped I just misunderstood it.

He has a dog. We had a nice conversation about dogs and how great they are. It's charming when a man really loves his dog.

And then it went downhill. I specifically have a comment in my profile to not contact me if you voted for Trump. I foolishly expect that this will be respected. When he asked me if I don't like Trump, he said he could tell because of "all the woman stuff." Um... woman stuff??

He then proceeded to tell me a 30-minute story about how his wife left  him. For a black man. When you say, "I'm not racist but..." and then follow that with a terribly insulting imitation of a black man, then yes. Yes, you are a racist. A big one. I don't blame the woman for leaving.

Because he kept insisting he wasn't racist, I pressed him on his vote. He didn't want to answer, which made his choice obvious. What's worse is that he voted on a single issue. Gun rights. His collection of 20 guns was more important than women's health or right to choose, more important than the environment or the economy or foreign relations. I asked if the protection of his second amendment right was worth what happened in Virginia. If it was worth a woman dying for. He didn't have an answer.

Now I'm left with feeling like I can't trust anyone. That there isn't someone who can be just basically respectful and kind. So I think I'm done. I'm definitely done wasting my time on men who completely disregard my feelings as a person, let alone as a woman.

I have dogs. I have a daughter and a best friend. I have a business and a hobby that I love. It's a good life. I'm okay with it being a single life. Right now it's better than the alternative.



3 comments:

DJ - silverhawk615@gmail.com said...

First off, I apologize for my tardiness in commenting on this particular post. As the lone representative of the male species on your blog: we're by and large, terrible. I'm offended on your behalf with regard to "women stuff." The comment indicates a certain disregard for your (as far as I can tell, pretty reasonable) feelings on women's issues.

I can concede the point about Nashville traffic as I utter several choices phrases on the daily as I drive to work. 20 minutes however, is pretty...unnecessary. Perhaps it's my own obsession with being on time speaking but, I feel how I feel.

That said, some of us are completely decent individuals with kind hearts who are simply looking for someone to join forces with and ultimately form Voltron. I swear.

And yes, I stand by every nerdy bit of that comment.

Kat said...

I would love to find a decent person as I feel that I am becoming undateable.

DJ - silverhawk615@gmail.com said...

Undateable? Do tell, because I am finding that rather hard to believe. If your looks are even 15% up to par with your intellect well...you might be a unicorn.

 
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