I started my new job last week, but I was in Pittsburgh all week getting set up. Today I was officially in my new location, which isn't as far or as bad of a drive as I thought it would be. In fact, one of my favorite clothing stores is about a 5-minute drive away. Which might turn out to be more of a minus than a place.

Anyway, here is what I discovered about this new place on my first day:

1. My bra sets off the metal detector. Or, as the security dude said, my "support system."
2. It's like a small city. 600 people work in my building but there are others. There is a bank and a cafeteria serving both lunch AND breakfast!!
3. Only people with special access can go to the second floor. I have access, therefore I am special.
4. There is a security code to get into the room I work in, so I'm double special.
5. The cafeteria is where we go during emergencies. Which makes sense, we'll need food to fortify us against danger.
6. Out of the three girls in the room I work in, I'm the only one that talks. Already.
7. My work room has a beautiful view of the warehouse. Actually, it would be beautiful if it were packed with shoes instead of computers.
8. The parking lot is so huge that it continues on the other side of the street but we have our own bridge so we don't have to deal with traffic.
9. Most sections have rooms named with themes. Most of my floor is Shakespeare - Hamlet, Prometheus, Othello. Downstairs there are storybook names - Peter Pan, Mary Poppins, The Jungle Book.
10. The coffee's decent.

Why Teenagers Are Evil and Must Be Destroyed

Me: Did you take my Hydro Flask? The one I put my coffee in EVERY day?
D: ......Maybe.......
Me: YOU are in SO much trouble!!!! I tore the house apart looking for that!
D: Seriously?
Me: Yes, seriously. Do NOT mess with my coffee.
D: I'm seriously in trouble?
Me: Yes. That doesn't belong to you.
D: I didn't have any more water bottles.
Me: Then go without water.
D: Mom, I can't go without water. It won't happen again.

Later that day.....
D: Did you get your precious bottle?
Me: Yes. No thanks to you.
D: You ruined it anyway. Every sip of water tasted like coffee.
Me: HA HA HA!! That's what you get!!!!!!
D: Wow, Mom. Just wow.