Has anyone ever said to you, "Tell me something nobody else knows about you?" I was asked that once by what turned out to be a one-night-stand. I think he had already envisioned walking down the aisle but I was like, No. Uh, buddy. The very audacity to think I'm going to dig inside myself to produce something possibly sacred about my soul? No.
But I have been thinking about that a little bit while opening this blog up again. What do I want you to know? What is the quickest way to describe myself to you? And then it hit me. Two of my favorite things! Animals and LISTS!!
Here we go, in no particular order.
1. I volunteer with Boston Terrier Rescue of East Tennessee. I started out fostering, which is how I got Lucy Jane, and I'm now a foster coordinator. Although I don't have many fosters in Middle Tennessee. Maybe one of you wants to help me out with that.
2. Speaking of Bostons, I have two. Oona Clare and Lucy Jane. Their predecessors were Remy and Ruby. It is important to note that Ruby was my soul dog.
3. Speaking of dogs, I have always loved them. My mom's first bulldog was Astarte. We then had George, Aphrodite, Venus, Cassiopeia, Taurus, and one largeish litter. Mom and Dad then had the most neurotic chihuahua, a mini Schnauzer, and now Mom is in her Frenchie Era. There were a few others sprinkled in, but this isn't the History of Dogs in the Elsner Household. This is about Me.
4. I was once bitten by a pony. At a pumpkin farm. I have forgiven, but not forgotten.
5. A few years ago, a friend and I saved some baby possums who had been dumped in a trash can with their (unalived) mother. They were so cute and I will always advocate for possums. They're not scary, they're shy. And they eat ticks. Thank one the next time you see it.
6. If an animal or other living creature comes to my patio, I will name it and appropriate it as a pet. This summer we have Figment, the hummingbird who comes to the feeder I put out when I saw him investigating my flowers. A couple of summers ago, a skunk slunk under my gate and helped himself to some trash that hadn't yet made it to the trash can. I decided he was French, like the cartoon, so I named him Moufette and purposely left out chicken bones and other delicacies for him. Sadly, that relationship was over almost as quickly as it began and I suspect the neighbors who were complaining about him being around.
7. One summer by the lake I got to live out my Snow White fantasy with a bird who landed on my leg when I shared my pesto wrap with it. More than once. I was overjoyed until a couple of its friends were looking like they wanted to try it and then I decided I didn't want to live out my The Birds nightmare.
8. I have had other equine adventures. When I was about 11, my cousin and I went bareback riding with her horse and a neighbor's. Mind you, my cousin was only 7 or 8 and we did this without actual parental consent. Gen X and all that. My horse suddenly got the zoomies and then ran under a branch trying to knock me off. I did NOT fall off, I ducked. That horse and I weren't friends after that.
9. Misbehaving Horses Part Deux. In college, a boyfriend and I went horseback riding in the desert in Palm Springs. He was a very inexperienced rider. I, as proved by bullet point 8, was an excellent rider. His dumb ass horse went off-trail and down the side of a cliff. My dumb ass boyfriend had no control over the dumb ass horse. As we were in the middle of nowhere, I had no choice but to follow them. My much smarter horse resisted because he wasn't a dumb ass, but finally relented. I let him have the reins and laid back since we were nearly vertical at that point. However, this does once again illustrate my superior skills with horses. Just not ponies.
10. As a Gen-Xer, I have had some questionable encounters with wild animals that I would not repeat. Like riding an elephant. Once when I was little, and again when Devon was little. I'm pretty sure my parents took me for a photo-op with a baby bear or some type of baby big cat. I USED TO love Sea World and as kids, my parents took us every other year. I think the last time I went was when I was pregnant with Devon because when you know better, you do better.
And there we are. Ten is a nice, round number. I've obviously had some interesting encounters with mammals and birds. We'll save the amphibian stories for another time. Oh, and the time my dog rolled in a dead fish.
I told you, it gets real weird around here sometimes.
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