Friday, August 28, 2026

Not Today, Satan Buzzard

 Do you know what it means to see a vulture first thing in the morning? Because I think I remember that seeing a crow meant someone was going to die. Of course a vulture seems more ominous, like something has already died. 

Anyhoo. I'm asking because that's what I saw first thing this morning when I took the girls out for their first potty. Just sitting on the rooftop across from me. Seemingly doing a weather vane cosplay. After the week we've had, I thought maybe he was a harbinger of death for yet another celebrity so I gave him hard side eye but went about my business. Or, rather, the girls' business. 

Once we officially got out of bed and the girls had their breakfast, I took Lucy Jane out. As we stepped onto the front porch, I saw a large shadow coming toward us and heard a very loud thump. I looked up and saw the vulture. 

"JESUS CHRIST!!!"

That was my exact response. I know. Eloquent, even under pressure. 

Excuse me, sir. Are you not supposed to wait for small creatures to die before you try to abscond with them? Because this little Boston Terrier is very clearly alive. As am I, if you had any really big ideas. 

That bastard stared us down as we walked away. 

As for Lucy Jane, well. My poor little baby was too scared to even pee. Even submissively. She insisted on being picked up and was just all atremble. Her little heart was beating so fast. 

The creepy feathered asshole was gone when we got back, but I'm onto him. And he better not try that trick with Oona, because she is batshit crazy. I've never seen her back down from anyone. 

You've been warned, feathered fucker. 

0 comments:

 
The Martini Chronicles. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino